I become a spectator for the day.

Truth

2007-01-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

How many ways are there to the truth?

This is answering a question like how many ways could you reach the top of the mountain?

Sometimes, you find truth easily in matters that you do not expect.

I just recently had a moment today.

Key thing to remember here is "Love rejoices in truth."

I realized that I had prayed for a sword, that God would grant me the offer. I prayed to God that I would use the sword for his greatness, his honor, and his power. I will serve him with this sword and it will represent my loyalty to him. He will let me find the way with the sword and let nothing cross my path to the truth.

He gave me a sword following this request. The sword was great and still is pretty good.

There was a problem when I looked further into it, though.

With the sword I destroyed things that were not meant to be destroyed.

I did things with the sword that I wasn't prepared or trained for.

Now, as if God was using this to give me a message, I understand what it was about.

The sword was given to me by God, and I disrespected it. I have let others tame it, use it to their will, and I have let myself treat it like it wasn't worth much.

Now, the truth is revealed. I dropped the sword once.

Landing on the tip, it bent the very tip of the sword slightly.

With enough thrust, it could still penetrate. However, it is bent at the most critical point in the entire sword.

I believe God is expecting me to grow from this experience. I believe God, if he loves me enough, he will give me another sword that's better, stronger, worthier, and bigger. I believe that God still loves me and he will for infinity.

I only pray that I can have the patience to reach that point in my life where my sword is tamed by Jesus himself. For, if Jesus is the way, then the sword will surely serve Jesus. And anyone who stands in the way of Jesus from the way to the truth, God have mercy on his soul.

Hopefully, this spectated view of transitions will serve to me as a sign in the path so I can be directed the right way.

God, please help me succeed to better serve you.

Spectated Family Problems

2007-01-03T13:30:00.000-08:00

It seems as if I'm always bombarded with family problems. I'll be discrete, honest, and straightforward about it in this spectator's point of view.

Let's start with where it originates from and what causes these problems.

1. Stubbornness
I pat myself on the back for putting this one in the first place (I am widely known as being very stubborn). I remember a buddhist long ago who told me to be close-minded and open-minded as the situation needs. If you choose this little family-dispute as a ground where stubbornness would be an advantage, you're wrong. Family disputes require thinking, patience, open-mindedness, willingness to accept, and compassion to show for each other. If anything, stubbornness causes disputes between family members and separation, and also maintains all frustrations shared on the subject.

2. Habits
The reason I left out the adjective "bad" preceding the word "habits" is because habits can sometimes be good, but just bad at the moment. Any habit could be a potential threat to someone. A habit may lead to a compatibility issue, which would lead to an issue of whether or not one would be willing to compromise. There are so many issues coming from habits and since there really is no way to root out all the different types of habits that might be denegrading to families, I'll just leave at that.

3. Bad Attitude
I don't think I have to explain much here. ... Alright, I guess I didn't really need to explain much for any of these, but I'm gonna do it anyways. You reap what you sow: if you have a bad attitude toward the members of your family, then expect bad attitude back.

4. Inability to Forgive/Apologize
This is a bottom-line. Learn to apologize and forgive. Unless you like all this bullshit drama.

5. Impatience
Once you have fixed the past 4 problems that causes family disputes, then this is the last step. People just don't realize that patience is something you need to work at. If, at any point, you feel like immediately following up with an argument when someone is talking, that means you need to work on your patience.

if you take out the roots of the problem, the tree will not bear fruits. Problems solved.

Seems easy, but you will be surprised how easily you will fall to such easy tasks.

Requiem

2006-11-21T04:59:00.000-08:00

It seems to me, everyday when I come sit down in front of this computer, I find a way to be depressed about something. One depressing failure after another, I always find out about some error I have made, driving me into a hole for the rest of the night. A resolution sort of clears my mind and makes me think, "I'm going to stop this shit from messing me up in the future and just change how I do things."

Well, this shit never changes. I don't even follow my virtue of keeping good habits that would help me become a better person all around. What if you realize you've made an error when it's too late to change anything? What was the purpose of a failure?

If a failure is made or predestined for the purpose of making someone realize their mistake and continuing as a stronger person, then why is it that I haven't made the necessary changes yet?

Does this mean that my error is not meant to be understood? fixed? compromised? ever detected?

What if I fall but never learn to get back up again?

This is a requiem of those failures that go unchecked. If you want to become stronger, then find those failures and drive them to the heart. Do what is necessary to fix those errors. If that is never done, then when it's time for you to pass, you will realize you've missed being the best man you could be; A man who has learned of all his failures and has tried his best to correct them. If you miss all days of training for your martial arts, then how can you call yourself a martial-artist? if you miss all your classes, then how can you call yourself a student? If you do not treat your mother with respect, then how can you call yourself a son, a man, or even a person? If you can't wield the sword that you own, then how can you say you own a sword?

Remember these things... Never stumble upon a rock. If you do, pick yourself up and destroy with your hands all the rocks that could make you stumble. Never let conditions drive you back. If they do, then fight back as if it's the last, as if you are fighting until your death.

Kill or be killed.

Spectating Inherent News-spazz About Korea

2006-10-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

In my Government 312L class, I am currently learning about the different presidents and their approaches to solving problems of the United States, domestic or foreign.

This relatively new knowledge can link with this news article I saw online (cnn.com) about North Korean troops crossing the border to the no-man's land in which caused South Korean guards to fire 60 shots that made the three North Korean men run back behind the border.

My opinion in pollitics are going to be obscurely displayed here, so... make sure to remember that I have deeply-seeded conditions which derive my opinions before you make rash judgments about who I am, how I am, and why I think the way I do.

In the article, before it states everything about the situation between North Korea and US, it talks about how these visits to the no-man's land are "...not unheard of" but are "relatively rare". This has happened before, but no mass media really covered it. In fact, it was passed as irrelevant and not important. So why is it listed in the front page of cnn.com now? Because we're all waiting for a response from the American president, who hasn't really done anything but have 6-party talks about it and labeling North Korea as one of "Axis of Evil". Evil stems from evil itself and love stems from love. The reason why North Korea is in such a state is because of the countries in which have such interferences with it. Using hegemony to cause mass sanctions of globalization to North Korea, stationing 20,000 troops across DMZ (Demilitarized Zone), labeling it as one of "Axis of Evil", and doing anything to make sure South Koreans are envoys of the American power are all reasons why North Koreans are pursuing the power of a nuclear weapon.

No, I am NOT a communist.

Moving on, my complaint is that mass media here is basically 1. pushing the president to make a decision as to how to deal with North Koreans pursuing a test of their nuclear warheads, 2. Making everyone in the United States believe, regardless of the past conditions of Korea (where they had attempts to assassinate the president and had times that would cause the entire South Korea's forces to mobilize), believe that the situation between North Korea and South Korea is getting more and more aggressive, 3. linking to complaint #2, try to be an advocate of some sort of disdain between Koreans and Americans possibly causing war.

CNN had a choice NOT to report this article simply because no one was dead and shots are fired across the border all the time, which gives me a damn good reason to complain the three complains (numbered) above.

As you can see, mass media is running our minds, which decide on what to do on the future, which then has control over the future. Note that an average person with a PC and a 56K modem that logs online to read this news coverage wouldn't have any idea as to exactly what is going on.

If you understood what I had put up there and understand my anger, let me know. I really want to know if I make sense here.

I will post up another blog on a later time continuing this talk of blasphemy.

Spectating University of Texas at Austin

2006-09-21T03:05:00.000-07:00

It's about that time I spectate this Austin, the most liberal city in the state of Texas.

1. Academics
Hard as hell. No question about it. Time management here is already so tight if you live off-campus. The most important thing about academics here at UT is concentration. The homework assignments themselves are not very hard at all, but the tests are almost unbareable compared to the homework assignments. This means that you are expected to go above and beyond the easy assignments, explore new ideas and challenge yourself with harder problems in order to receive an A or a high-B (uncertainty still exists depending on your luck). UT is truly a school that demands a student's interest in higher education.

2. Living
I'd have to say, compared to UT San Antonio, living is a bit hectic. Everyday, time passes by really fast and you're wondering where all the time went at the end of the day. You just want maybe a little time for relaxation, but no time to relax, only time to panic and start working on what's due next.

3. Social
There are several advantages of being at UT than other schools for this category here, because there is so much room to meet people. 50,000 people in this school. This means that I know less than .1 percent of the students in this school. This is a bit ridiculous, but it's also a challenge to keep up the social life without messing up your grades.

Going further into this social life here, it sometimes gets annoying to see parties and everything on weekends. You'd figure that people would grow out of these things by the time they're 20, but, I guess not. *shrug* I hate being older than the rest.

4. Leasure
Leasure here absolutely sucks. This is probably due to the fact that UT is located in Downtown, but at least show a little decency in letting people do what they want. The only decent place I can go to practice some martial arts I learned in Korea is either the parking lot of my apartment or the public golf field right in front of the apartment. Also note that you are so deeply into this social and academic life that you don't have time to just sit down and focus on yourself or anything else for that matter. All you get to focus on is having fun and work; no God, no meditation, no thinking, no relaxing, no random sleeping, etc.

5. Involvement in Society
Involvement in society here at UT is great. You can join so many associations, groups, and programs and all you have to do is go to their meetings and act remotely like you care about the things they talk about and bam, you got another thing to put into your resume. The better way to look at it is to see that these are all good opportunites that anyone could pick up.

Conclusion:

You can definitely go to places from here. There are so many opportunities to take up but just as it is good (yes, I'm going into concept of duality) there's definitely room to mess up completely and screw up what you came to do. Keyword here is focus. Focus on what you need to get done and don't let anything get in the way. If something gets in the way, open up the arsenal and kill it. If you can't, then persevere and show everyone that you are tolerable and that you are tough.

Spectating Korea

2006-08-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

Korea is a country that's hard for me to decipher. To describe most of the Korean people, I'd describe them as "hard-headed, close-minded, stubborn, lost in their own world of nothing, lacking the willingness to change for the better, and lack a consciousness from which they need to govern their country in the interests of their people." There are, of course, some people that I met in Korea that had influenced me to have some hope for the country in the future. Those people are the people that work diligently. Far from all the political fiasco, they dedicate themselves to ideals and philosophies and personal values. Korea is a country plagued by the sins of globalization, mockery of real politics, and the love of money. A solution in such a situation is hard to find, but the most simplest of all that everyone could try is to try and change their own lives in the face of such troubles; Do not be greedy, have your own positions in the political arena instead of siding with Americans, have dignity enough to oppose trades, and have a straight-forward view of what Korea should be.

You can probably guess that I was dissatisfied with how Korea was. I will list what I didn't like about Korea:

1. Although the confucian culture of Korea used to be big, most of the Koreans have thrown the philosophy away and changed more towards being "American". Now, instead of spending time with family that might die away, such as grandparents and other such relatives, most 20-year-olds spend their time messing around, drinking, and going to night clubs. I tried my best to do what is right in staying home and spending a lot of time with grandparents and relatives, but it's hard to take away the peer pressure, hear all the lecturing from people older than you that you've already heard before, ignore all the insulting that you get from trying to relax during your summer vacation, and, finally, ignore the fact that the old do not mix with the new. All in all, the x and y generations are fucked up, but older generations have seen so much more fucked up shit and lived in more of a fucked up world that you would hate to even converse with them about politics, problems with Korea, etc.

2. Koreans and Americans are almost one in the same. If you think about it, it's only been some 50 years since Korea has been a "fake" sovereign state. I've lived in Korea for 10 years and the best I can remember about Korea is that America was foreign as hell and most other Koreans younger than 4th grade of elementary school thought that Korea was the only country on earth. Korea now is so much more like America than ever before. English is taught from ELEMENTARY SCHOOL until college, everything is labeled in english, 30% of the famous Korean streets are marketed by American franchises such as Outback Steakhouses, Starbucks and McDonalds, and all announcements made in Korea are usually repeated in English. Throughout all this, I didn't mention the fact that the metrosexual style is the only thing that people go for nowadays, except for a few people who still stay with the hip-hop style that dominated Korea 2-4 years ago. For girls, their skirts have gotten shorter, pants have gotten tighter, and more and more of them wear dresses. Blue jeans? What are those? In a few years, the only reason you'd want to go back to Korea is to visit your friends or to fulfill your goals in life, such as getting laid, making a lot of money, establish a franchise, or to just fuck around in a foreign country even though most of those things are going to be expensive as fuck in a few years. I'd also like to mention that I saw at least one foreigner while I was conscious of the crowd I was in compared to none and probably never about 5-6 years ago.

3. Girls in Korea are the most Americanized girls in the world. Americanized can be defined by the context as, "Lost in social networks, don't care about much except flirting and sex when it comes to socializing with people, wear the most revealing clothes and always keep a night-life unless you're just a little bit chubby. If you're chubby, you study like crazy." My Sa Bum Nim in Haedonggumdo in Korea said, "girls, if they look a little bit fat, then they don't wear 2 pieces or 1 pieces on the beach. They just wear shorts or something that cover up everything." I don't know how else to describe these girls than to use the term, "Americanized" so you do the math.

4. Politics have always seemed to piss me off while I was in Korea. First of all, I'd hear problems beign announced by the News cast such as North Korea test launching some 7 missiles, President Bush being a jackass, Sanctions against North Korea established, etc. Then, I'd fail to hear what Korea will do about it. What's Korea going to do about America putting almost a global sanction against North Korea? What's South Korea going to do about the missiles being test launched? Nothing. This is a demonstration of true Korea's weakness. Put all the reasons why I was dissatisfied with Korea together and you get an inequality: Korea < or = America. Why do Koreans not have their own stand in politics and global actions? How come Koreans do not support Koreans that live right to the north of them? Why do Koreans hate other Koreans? All of these can be answered through the dissatisfaction I've listed here.

And here's what I liked about Korea:

1. Korea is advanced as fuck. Laptops are common, most of the new apartments have interated video technology, all the new cellphones usually have the ability to watch TV on the rotating screen, you get my drift.

2. Some of the traditional values still stand. My master in training was a Kwan Jang Nim and he was funny as well as demanding of good values, ambition, strength, and the ability to persevere. All these values were displayed to me when I saw what him and his disciple can do in Mu Do. I can tell you about how old people still keep some traditional values, but that's not as cool as people practicing martial arts having disciples and such.

3. Some Koreans resist foreigners. Of course, I can also be described as a foreigner, but if they treet me like shit, I'd be happy. I don't want Koreans' authentic rebelious attitude against foreigners to go away. Hell fucking no, I want everyone in the world to know that we are proud and stubborn as fuck. Even a century ago, we still had words to describe foreigners in the most demeaning way possible. Let's keep that tradition strong.

4. Dog meat is probably the best tasting meat in the whole world.

Pictures will be uploaded later, but... I hope many of you understand me rather than just be offended about what I wrote. Yes, I know I'm blunt so keep some of the obvious insults out of my way, will ya?

Laters.

Spectated Xanga/Myspace Blogs.

2006-05-01T22:33:00.000-07:00

Ridiculous what I saw in some xangas and myspaces I have just browsed through.

At least 80 percent of the girls' xangas and myspaces say, "Don't judge me, accept me, etc." Well, first of all, don't tell me what to do. I'll do whatever the hell I want and you won't be able to do a single thing about it except talk shit, which is pretty much the only thing you're good at anyways. Who the hell is stupid enough to say "don't judge me" anyways? If you think about it, everyone judges everyone else at least on the subconscious level and those who are too pussy to think that this is true, I sincerely suggest closing this window in which you're reading from because you're too pussy to read my blog. If you are pussy enough to think that people in society shouldn't judge, then you are too pussy for competition, too pussy for America, which leads to the conclusion that you are too pussy to live. Go follow procedures to kill yourself on www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com.

Secondly, I would just like to say that I never saw any men who complained about people judging them even in their blogs. This is what separates men and women in the superiority department. It's the fact that women are so insecure that they can't stand being judged. All women do is whine and push about how men are without coming up with a solution to solve the problem and bitch about how others judge them. Well, tough shit, you stupid bitches. Men get judged on a scale much greater than the one you're on. Not only do men have to fit your criterions on how we are on the superficial, we have to fit your criterion on the personality tests that you throw out to us not to mention the judgement upon how rich we are, what kind of a family background we have, etc. Don't be over there bitching about how people say you're a whore, because, in all truthfulness, chances are, that you really are a fucking whore. If you can't accept THAT, then why the fuck should I accept YOU? In all seriousness, I can't understand why I should check my tolerance level when you're just about the same in the zero tolerance category. Stupid bitches.

That's all I had to spectate today. I just couldn't handle how stupid these people were.

A regular day of spectating

2006-04-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

So I was at Costco today and I was just looking through some of the aisles (obviously ones dealing with nerdy things such as DVDs, CDs, electronics, keyboards, LCDs, Plasma displays, etc. I came across buying Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children when I saw, at a distance, easily the best example of "gold digger".

Here these two people were at the cell phone bar where they were obviously selling cell phones and this old (when I say old, think between 50 and 70) man with this one asian lady probably around 20 to 30 years old were standing at the booth. Immediately, I started looking at them funny and was trying hard to figure out if they were couples. Indeed, they were: while I was eating a polish sausage and a chicken pocket or something near the junk food place, the couple payed for their groceries and cell phone. The white guy was all smiling and trying to catch up to the woman who was walking faster than him (which seemed to me like she was trying to avoid him) but overjoyed by the fact that she just got a cell phone from this old man.

The whole time this was going on, I was thinking, "Man, does this guy NOT know what's going on!?" I can already foreshadow this asian bitch ditching his ass in like 2-3 years after he dies or retires. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel bad for that dude going out with some gold digger. However, he deserves all the pain and suffering at the end of such a pointless (or point-ful if you happen to be an optimist for the gold digger) relationship because he was being a complete retard for not getting the message. I mean, holy shit, are these people looking in the mirror nowadays? Do they have a sense of how old they are?

Anyways, that was that. On a more personal note, I had just bought ankle weights to train my legs in order to make them quicker in case of a sparring match. Just finished watching a few episodes of Firefly and, I have to say, it's bad-ass. I just realized, from looking on my DVD shelf, that I probably had spent around $200 on movies. I surely hope that I don't keep doing that. I have too many favorite movies.

Some thoughts + update

2006-03-30T20:04:00.001-08:00

Some updates first:

1. After my yellowbelt has been received, I am happy to announce that I'll be getting training every day of the week except Sunday in Kuksool.

2. My mastor bought me dinner.

3. I feel good about the first three updates.

4. I don't know how I did on the 3 tests I took yesterday.

5. I don't feel good about the 4th one.

OK. With that said, I've had some thoughts and I'm going to present them.

It's about Cars.

It's been long since I've read a quote that speaks about how cars speak how you are.
I'm here to prove that true indeed.

Let's start from the exterior to the interior and I will speculate on how I might be exactly like my car.

Exterior
1. Blue (my favorite color)

2. Stylish (Explation N/A)

3. No back windshield wiper (I don't look back and regret)

4. No tint (Maybe I like to introvertedly show off. Going for tints soon though.)

5. No mods (Old-fashioned. Don't like mods. Either that or I don't like my warrantee being voided.)

6. Coupe (A car designed for 2 or less but could handle more: I like being my own person. Individuality, I guess.)

Interior
1. Black leather seats (I love black. I love leather. I come from a cold place, WA and MI, so naturally, a darker color is something to behold. Plus black shows elegance and a feel of class.)

2. Manual control bucket seats (I like to move my seats real quick. Perhaps that just means that I'm no one to put style over quickness. I would rather get shit done rather than have those expensive seat movers that take forever. I hate that shit.)

3. Stick transmission (A control freak? Maybe. I don't know. I like having control as well, though.)

4. Automatic climate control w/ A/C (I love electronics as long as they happen to add convenience. This is probably there because I love convenience.)

5. AM/FM/FM2/Tape/6-CD-Changer combo with 6 speakers and Subwoofer (Sometimes I like to turn shit up like how I turn shit up when I go to Kuk Sool or when I turn shit up when I get hardcore studying. or bitching.)

6. Working on an alarm system (I want my shit to be safe. I want everything to be there when I come back)

7. iPod FM Transmitter (I like this add-on. I can listen to whatever the hell I want and jam and sing, all in the convinience of driving on the road where no one will hear you sing. Maybe this shows that I'm most satisfied when I can prove myself to me and no one else.)

8. 2-door (I think I mentioned that up there, but I just had to remember that I like being alone. Makes me think. Makes me work. Makes me feel like myself and build myself the way I want to be.

9. My tassel from the graduation cap I wore (Memories, I guess. I like having my memories hung where I can see them. I have my 40 days of purpose thing on my paper stand in my room as well as my name written in calligraphy. I want a poster of Hwarangdo or some awesome thing about martial arts that would represent my heart. Very extroverted about my experiences.)

10. 20-30 CDs I never listen to (Well, I don't know.. I love music, but I think I keep them there so that I can find them when I want to listen to them when I'm alone in the car with nothing to do. *shrug* Means that.. I don't like being bored, I guess.)

11. 2.7 L V6 DOHC Engine (V6. An above-average engine saying that I am not the best, but I'm no Geo Prism. Not going to burn that much fuel, but just enough to get around and say that I can also speed.)

12. Front Wheel Drive (One of the biggest advantages to having a front wheel drive in the chassis is that it can help you turn better at higher speeds, and that's for you speed fanatics. The suspension in turning is also much better on FWD rather than RWD. So, I think this says that I know that you can get a head start, but I make up for it by making the right decisions in what turns to make in life.)

13. Moonroof (Man, I had no idea that that stuff felt good until I got a car with that on it and started opening those up during the night. That stuff feels so freaking good, it's amazing. What can I say about that? Well, I think it just means I love fresh air and enjoying the good moments when the come by.)

14. Hyundai, Made in Korea (Well, at first, it could say that I'm a cheap-ass motherfucker, but once you realize that I own a 2-door coupe when you don't own a car yourself, you'd have to think twice. So.. just take me as being Korean, yeah?)

15. Papers laying around, especially from church and other scheduled things as well as menus (1. I'm lazy enough to leave important messages from church laying around in my car. 2. I like having schedules nearby where I can take a quick look. 3. I like having menus to restaurants as well so I can tell people where to go and what's good. In summary, I'm a lazy man who likes conveniences as well as someone who tells good advice without shame. I also am religious somehow. I don't know how to fit that in there, because these are important messages from church laying around.)

Alright, I'll see you guys later.

An Interesting Question

2006-03-16T03:22:00.001-08:00

"What makes you happy?"

It seems like happiness is what everyone aims for. Success, money, riches, power, and material things always are desirable in our society. No matter how bluntly people put it, if a Lamborghini Diablo crept by slowly across your eyes, you'd gaze at it and marvel at it and praise it no matter who you were.

First thing that came to my mind thinking about this question was a song. Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You.

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love 'em
Hand me the world on a silver plater
And what good would it be
no one to share
no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
Some people want it all
but I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

If I ain't got you with me baby

Oh, so nothing in this whole
wide world dont mean a thing

If I aint got you with me baby

I couldn't have put it better. However, this world is so blinded by society that, even though this is what everyone truly desires, they end up giving up their own dreams for nothing but a taste of society's manipulation. I'm sure riches, money, power, sex are some of the things that people would choose to say for this question. But all of these things bring happiness for a moment. Is happiness not meant to last? Hmm.....

I'll answer this question personally - as if it was asked to me only. The question, I think, is flawed. There are many things that bring me happiness. I can't even put them in order in which they bring me happiness. So many people have seen my negative sides that they probably wouldn't believe that I wrote this blog. Seriously, I'm that negative.

I'll even prove to you how negative I am.

Example: The first thing I was going to bring up was Love. Everything that involves love. You know that someone loves you when they smile, when you look them in the eyes. When they say it. When they feel it. When they mean it. But it has it's flaws. Everything does. Love is unfair. Love is sometimes cruel. Love can bring you happiness infinitely greater than any other thing in the world, but love can also bring you more pain than all the love you have ever felt. To put it bluntly, I would say that love is the easiest thing that can cross the line between good and evil. You never know if this love is true until the end. So what if you trusted? There is always a chance that this love is not true. That it has blinded you for good. Even until death, you may never know that your wife has cheated on you.

Now that I've proven my point about my negativity, let's move on to more hardcore thoughts.

Truth:
Truth is one thing that I am definitely interested in and will bring happiness to me. One thing about love described in the Bible is that, "love rejoices in truth." Just from that, you know that truth is love. True love brings me happiness. Thus, truth will bring me happiness.

Knowledge:
This is basically a breakdown of truth. Recall a class that I took called Theory of Knowledge. It asked the question: How do you know if anything is true? What if this is all a matrix? What if this is all a dream? Well, ladies and gents, that's why it all comes down to trust and faith and beliefs. I believe that I'm pressing keys, which triggers certain electronic signals to the motherboard, which is then processed through the CPU, and loaded into a software that is currently running through loads of RAM and a fast hard-drive. I don't believe that I'm typing on bunch of plastic and a spirit guides these letters on the plastic pieces to the screen that I am looking at right now. I don't believe that computer manufacturers are shammans. Is it possible? Why not? Of course, it's possible. I just choose not to believe. But it's good to have knowledge. Experiences. Even to explain how the spirits and shammans could fit into the working processes of a computer, you need that knowledge. Even to understand it. Knowledge. It's a powerful thing.

All these are very general things. However, my happiness stems from them.

Recall that I had said, "the question is flawed." You cannot choose one thing to bring you happiness. Shit, I forgot to put up there that bringing happiness to God is one thing that brings me happiness. It also makes me happy to do things for others that I love. I can keep listing them. But forget that. The question is flawed. There is no way you could answer this question and be satisfied. Unless, of course, if you're just a pervert, just a money-mongerer, just ... whatever.

Man.. too many flaws in this world.

What brings YOU happiness?

Strange day.

2006-03-07T23:45:00.000-08:00

Today was quite interesting. I went to Kuksoolwon today and had a good laugh as well as a good push towards anger.

So I missed training for a whole month during December, in which I paid for with $80.

I asked the head master (Sa Bu Nim) of my Dojang if I could make up those classes, since the management of the Dojang has been turned over to him and that the other manager has left for Florida. He flat out denied me of making up those classes that I missed. His excuse: You used to only have two classes a week. Now, you have classes THREE times a week (emphasis on THREE). This way, you don't have to make up classes because you'll be making up classes through the 3rd day of the week.

Tell me if this isn't a way to rip off my $80. Yeah? Well, let me prove you a complete asshole.

1. I paid for a month and I had notified the Dojang and the Dojang had agreed to let me make up classes so the 80 dollars that I paid doesn't go in vein.

2. Three classes a week does NOT mean that I'll be getting any more than others. Everyone else in the Dojang is, now, also getting 3 classes per week. I simply deserve more because I had missed everything the month before.

3. I don't get my money back.

There are no refunds, no make-up classes, and no way in hell you can deny that he was being a complete asshole.

If I was a lawyer, he'd be sued. This was the biggest case of bullshit I've ever come across in the history of martial arts.

On the flipside, I learned a new falling technique where I'm supposed to jump before doing a front roll.

My thoughts in martial arts:

It's been a while since I started Kuk Sool now and I believe it's time to be extremely critical. Controversies over techniques, insincerity in consideration of martial arts, and lack of respect continue to push me away from honoring this martial art. I've come across two individuals in my classes that are very enthusiastic about martial arts in general. However, I thought I saw the end of the world crushing down on me when these two were asking Sa Bu Nim for a purchase of swords and when I saw him nod in agreement to the favor.

Sa Bu Nim, in consequence of this gesture, almost layed down my belief in the moral: "Good things come to those who wait."

This man didn't wait two, three years like he was supposed to in order to get a black belt so he could order his own sword. Sa Bu Nim knows this, but he respected this man enough, without testing his patience, to give him the honor of giving suggestions on which sword to purchase.

Why is it that a person who wants to do anything with honor lags behind while the person who wants to do things in vein finds his way to the top faster than the latter? Why does this world always make me go to the dark side in order to attain honor? Why is that? Why do we have to lose honor in order to gain strength?

Note to self:

Keep all dishonorable people under your ladder, so that they may not start their own ladder and strike yours down.

"Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps."
- Marcellus, Pulp Fiction.

First post.

2006-03-07T01:26:00.000-08:00

It's been two days and I really haven't had a good, long-run sleep-in.

Took a test yesterday. Test today at 7:30 AM (currently 3:27 AM) in the morning.

You know what that means?

IHOP at 4 AM, meditation at 5 AM, studying until 7:30 AM.

An update of my life:

Roommates for next year:
1. Ruishi Wang,
2. Jonathan Earl,
3. Anthony Kwan.

Plans for S. Korea so far:
1. Learn Korean.
2. Learn calligraphy.

Plans for relationships:
Don't get one; you might lose 40 dollars and let a girl turn you into a wuss, or just into someone who is a complete retard.

Currently reading:
Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Hope:
Let's bring home the world cup this year, Korea.

I'm too tired to make up more bullshit. I'll seriously blog later.

It's good to finally start one now that I don't really have anymore negative shit to post about.