Thursday, March 30, 2006

Some thoughts + update

Some updates first:

1. After my yellowbelt has been received, I am happy to announce that I'll be getting training every day of the week except Sunday in Kuksool.

2. My mastor bought me dinner.

3. I feel good about the first three updates.

4. I don't know how I did on the 3 tests I took yesterday.

5. I don't feel good about the 4th one.

OK. With that said, I've had some thoughts and I'm going to present them.

It's about Cars.

It's been long since I've read a quote that speaks about how cars speak how you are.
I'm here to prove that true indeed.

Let's start from the exterior to the interior and I will speculate on how I might be exactly like my car.

1. Blue (my favorite color)

2. Stylish (Explation N/A)

3. No back windshield wiper (I don't look back and regret)

4. No tint (Maybe I like to introvertedly show off. Going for tints soon though.)

5. No mods (Old-fashioned. Don't like mods. Either that or I don't like my warrantee being voided.)

6. Coupe (A car designed for 2 or less but could handle more: I like being my own person. Individuality, I guess.)

1. Black leather seats (I love black. I love leather. I come from a cold place, WA and MI, so naturally, a darker color is something to behold. Plus black shows elegance and a feel of class.)

2. Manual control bucket seats (I like to move my seats real quick. Perhaps that just means that I'm no one to put style over quickness. I would rather get shit done rather than have those expensive seat movers that take forever. I hate that shit.)

3. Stick transmission (A control freak? Maybe. I don't know. I like having control as well, though.)

4. Automatic climate control w/ A/C (I love electronics as long as they happen to add convenience. This is probably there because I love convenience.)

5. AM/FM/FM2/Tape/6-CD-Changer combo with 6 speakers and Subwoofer (Sometimes I like to turn shit up like how I turn shit up when I go to Kuk Sool or when I turn shit up when I get hardcore studying. or bitching.)

6. Working on an alarm system (I want my shit to be safe. I want everything to be there when I come back)

7. iPod FM Transmitter (I like this add-on. I can listen to whatever the hell I want and jam and sing, all in the convinience of driving on the road where no one will hear you sing. Maybe this shows that I'm most satisfied when I can prove myself to me and no one else.)

8. 2-door (I think I mentioned that up there, but I just had to remember that I like being alone. Makes me think. Makes me work. Makes me feel like myself and build myself the way I want to be.

9. My tassel from the graduation cap I wore (Memories, I guess. I like having my memories hung where I can see them. I have my 40 days of purpose thing on my paper stand in my room as well as my name written in calligraphy. I want a poster of Hwarangdo or some awesome thing about martial arts that would represent my heart. Very extroverted about my experiences.)

10. 20-30 CDs I never listen to (Well, I don't know.. I love music, but I think I keep them there so that I can find them when I want to listen to them when I'm alone in the car with nothing to do. *shrug* Means that.. I don't like being bored, I guess.)

11. 2.7 L V6 DOHC Engine (V6. An above-average engine saying that I am not the best, but I'm no Geo Prism. Not going to burn that much fuel, but just enough to get around and say that I can also speed.)

12. Front Wheel Drive (One of the biggest advantages to having a front wheel drive in the chassis is that it can help you turn better at higher speeds, and that's for you speed fanatics. The suspension in turning is also much better on FWD rather than RWD. So, I think this says that I know that you can get a head start, but I make up for it by making the right decisions in what turns to make in life.)

13. Moonroof (Man, I had no idea that that stuff felt good until I got a car with that on it and started opening those up during the night. That stuff feels so freaking good, it's amazing. What can I say about that? Well, I think it just means I love fresh air and enjoying the good moments when the come by.)

14. Hyundai, Made in Korea (Well, at first, it could say that I'm a cheap-ass motherfucker, but once you realize that I own a 2-door coupe when you don't own a car yourself, you'd have to think twice. So.. just take me as being Korean, yeah?)

15. Papers laying around, especially from church and other scheduled things as well as menus (1. I'm lazy enough to leave important messages from church laying around in my car. 2. I like having schedules nearby where I can take a quick look. 3. I like having menus to restaurants as well so I can tell people where to go and what's good. In summary, I'm a lazy man who likes conveniences as well as someone who tells good advice without shame. I also am religious somehow. I don't know how to fit that in there, because these are important messages from church laying around.)

Alright, I'll see you guys later.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

An Interesting Question

"What makes you happy?"

It seems like happiness is what everyone aims for. Success, money, riches, power, and material things always are desirable in our society. No matter how bluntly people put it, if a Lamborghini Diablo crept by slowly across your eyes, you'd gaze at it and marvel at it and praise it no matter who you were.

First thing that came to my mind thinking about this question was a song. Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You.

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love 'em
Hand me the world on a silver plater
And what good would it be
no one to share
no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
Some people want it all
but I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah

If I ain't got you with me baby

Oh, so nothing in this whole
wide world dont mean a thing

If I aint got you with me baby

I couldn't have put it better. However, this world is so blinded by society that, even though this is what everyone truly desires, they end up giving up their own dreams for nothing but a taste of society's manipulation. I'm sure riches, money, power, sex are some of the things that people would choose to say for this question. But all of these things bring happiness for a moment. Is happiness not meant to last? Hmm.....

I'll answer this question personally - as if it was asked to me only. The question, I think, is flawed. There are many things that bring me happiness. I can't even put them in order in which they bring me happiness. So many people have seen my negative sides that they probably wouldn't believe that I wrote this blog. Seriously, I'm that negative.

I'll even prove to you how negative I am.

Example: The first thing I was going to bring up was Love. Everything that involves love. You know that someone loves you when they smile, when you look them in the eyes. When they say it. When they feel it. When they mean it. But it has it's flaws. Everything does. Love is unfair. Love is sometimes cruel. Love can bring you happiness infinitely greater than any other thing in the world, but love can also bring you more pain than all the love you have ever felt. To put it bluntly, I would say that love is the easiest thing that can cross the line between good and evil. You never know if this love is true until the end. So what if you trusted? There is always a chance that this love is not true. That it has blinded you for good. Even until death, you may never know that your wife has cheated on you.

Now that I've proven my point about my negativity, let's move on to more hardcore thoughts.

Truth is one thing that I am definitely interested in and will bring happiness to me. One thing about love described in the Bible is that, "love rejoices in truth." Just from that, you know that truth is love. True love brings me happiness. Thus, truth will bring me happiness.

This is basically a breakdown of truth. Recall a class that I took called Theory of Knowledge. It asked the question: How do you know if anything is true? What if this is all a matrix? What if this is all a dream? Well, ladies and gents, that's why it all comes down to trust and faith and beliefs. I believe that I'm pressing keys, which triggers certain electronic signals to the motherboard, which is then processed through the CPU, and loaded into a software that is currently running through loads of RAM and a fast hard-drive. I don't believe that I'm typing on bunch of plastic and a spirit guides these letters on the plastic pieces to the screen that I am looking at right now. I don't believe that computer manufacturers are shammans. Is it possible? Why not? Of course, it's possible. I just choose not to believe. But it's good to have knowledge. Experiences. Even to explain how the spirits and shammans could fit into the working processes of a computer, you need that knowledge. Even to understand it. Knowledge. It's a powerful thing.

All these are very general things. However, my happiness stems from them.

Recall that I had said, "the question is flawed." You cannot choose one thing to bring you happiness. Shit, I forgot to put up there that bringing happiness to God is one thing that brings me happiness. It also makes me happy to do things for others that I love. I can keep listing them. But forget that. The question is flawed. There is no way you could answer this question and be satisfied. Unless, of course, if you're just a pervert, just a money-mongerer, just ... whatever.

Man.. too many flaws in this world.

What brings YOU happiness?

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Strange day.

Today was quite interesting. I went to Kuksoolwon today and had a good laugh as well as a good push towards anger.

So I missed training for a whole month during December, in which I paid for with $80.

I asked the head master (Sa Bu Nim) of my Dojang if I could make up those classes, since the management of the Dojang has been turned over to him and that the other manager has left for Florida. He flat out denied me of making up those classes that I missed. His excuse: You used to only have two classes a week. Now, you have classes THREE times a week (emphasis on THREE). This way, you don't have to make up classes because you'll be making up classes through the 3rd day of the week.

Tell me if this isn't a way to rip off my $80. Yeah? Well, let me prove you a complete asshole.

1. I paid for a month and I had notified the Dojang and the Dojang had agreed to let me make up classes so the 80 dollars that I paid doesn't go in vein.

2. Three classes a week does NOT mean that I'll be getting any more than others. Everyone else in the Dojang is, now, also getting 3 classes per week. I simply deserve more because I had missed everything the month before.

3. I don't get my money back.

There are no refunds, no make-up classes, and no way in hell you can deny that he was being a complete asshole.

If I was a lawyer, he'd be sued. This was the biggest case of bullshit I've ever come across in the history of martial arts.

On the flipside, I learned a new falling technique where I'm supposed to jump before doing a front roll.

My thoughts in martial arts:

It's been a while since I started Kuk Sool now and I believe it's time to be extremely critical. Controversies over techniques, insincerity in consideration of martial arts, and lack of respect continue to push me away from honoring this martial art. I've come across two individuals in my classes that are very enthusiastic about martial arts in general. However, I thought I saw the end of the world crushing down on me when these two were asking Sa Bu Nim for a purchase of swords and when I saw him nod in agreement to the favor.

Sa Bu Nim, in consequence of this gesture, almost layed down my belief in the moral: "Good things come to those who wait."

This man didn't wait two, three years like he was supposed to in order to get a black belt so he could order his own sword. Sa Bu Nim knows this, but he respected this man enough, without testing his patience, to give him the honor of giving suggestions on which sword to purchase.

Why is it that a person who wants to do anything with honor lags behind while the person who wants to do things in vein finds his way to the top faster than the latter? Why does this world always make me go to the dark side in order to attain honor? Why is that? Why do we have to lose honor in order to gain strength?

Note to self:

Keep all dishonorable people under your ladder, so that they may not start their own ladder and strike yours down.

"Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps."
- Marcellus, Pulp Fiction.

First post.

It's been two days and I really haven't had a good, long-run sleep-in.

Took a test yesterday. Test today at 7:30 AM (currently 3:27 AM) in the morning.

You know what that means?

IHOP at 4 AM, meditation at 5 AM, studying until 7:30 AM.

An update of my life:

Roommates for next year:
1. Ruishi Wang,
2. Jonathan Earl,
3. Anthony Kwan.

Plans for S. Korea so far:
1. Learn Korean.
2. Learn calligraphy.

Plans for relationships:
Don't get one; you might lose 40 dollars and let a girl turn you into a wuss, or just into someone who is a complete retard.

Currently reading:
Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Let's bring home the world cup this year, Korea.

I'm too tired to make up more bullshit. I'll seriously blog later.

It's good to finally start one now that I don't really have anymore negative shit to post about.