Tuesday, January 23, 2007


How many ways are there to the truth?

This is answering a question like how many ways could you reach the top of the mountain?

Sometimes, you find truth easily in matters that you do not expect.

I just recently had a moment today.

Key thing to remember here is "Love rejoices in truth."

I realized that I had prayed for a sword, that God would grant me the offer. I prayed to God that I would use the sword for his greatness, his honor, and his power. I will serve him with this sword and it will represent my loyalty to him. He will let me find the way with the sword and let nothing cross my path to the truth.

He gave me a sword following this request. The sword was great and still is pretty good.

There was a problem when I looked further into it, though.

With the sword I destroyed things that were not meant to be destroyed.

I did things with the sword that I wasn't prepared or trained for.

Now, as if God was using this to give me a message, I understand what it was about.

The sword was given to me by God, and I disrespected it. I have let others tame it, use it to their will, and I have let myself treat it like it wasn't worth much.

Now, the truth is revealed. I dropped the sword once.

Landing on the tip, it bent the very tip of the sword slightly.

With enough thrust, it could still penetrate. However, it is bent at the most critical point in the entire sword.

I believe God is expecting me to grow from this experience. I believe God, if he loves me enough, he will give me another sword that's better, stronger, worthier, and bigger. I believe that God still loves me and he will for infinity.

I only pray that I can have the patience to reach that point in my life where my sword is tamed by Jesus himself. For, if Jesus is the way, then the sword will surely serve Jesus. And anyone who stands in the way of Jesus from the way to the truth, God have mercy on his soul.

Hopefully, this spectated view of transitions will serve to me as a sign in the path so I can be directed the right way.

God, please help me succeed to better serve you.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Spectated Family Problems

It seems as if I'm always bombarded with family problems. I'll be discrete, honest, and straightforward about it in this spectator's point of view.

Let's start with where it originates from and what causes these problems.

1. Stubbornness
I pat myself on the back for putting this one in the first place (I am widely known as being very stubborn). I remember a buddhist long ago who told me to be close-minded and open-minded as the situation needs. If you choose this little family-dispute as a ground where stubbornness would be an advantage, you're wrong. Family disputes require thinking, patience, open-mindedness, willingness to accept, and compassion to show for each other. If anything, stubbornness causes disputes between family members and separation, and also maintains all frustrations shared on the subject.

2. Habits
The reason I left out the adjective "bad" preceding the word "habits" is because habits can sometimes be good, but just bad at the moment. Any habit could be a potential threat to someone. A habit may lead to a compatibility issue, which would lead to an issue of whether or not one would be willing to compromise. There are so many issues coming from habits and since there really is no way to root out all the different types of habits that might be denegrading to families, I'll just leave at that.

3. Bad Attitude
I don't think I have to explain much here. ... Alright, I guess I didn't really need to explain much for any of these, but I'm gonna do it anyways. You reap what you sow: if you have a bad attitude toward the members of your family, then expect bad attitude back.

4. Inability to Forgive/Apologize
This is a bottom-line. Learn to apologize and forgive. Unless you like all this bullshit drama.

5. Impatience
Once you have fixed the past 4 problems that causes family disputes, then this is the last step. People just don't realize that patience is something you need to work at. If, at any point, you feel like immediately following up with an argument when someone is talking, that means you need to work on your patience.

if you take out the roots of the problem, the tree will not bear fruits. Problems solved.

Seems easy, but you will be surprised how easily you will fall to such easy tasks.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


It seems to me, everyday when I come sit down in front of this computer, I find a way to be depressed about something. One depressing failure after another, I always find out about some error I have made, driving me into a hole for the rest of the night. A resolution sort of clears my mind and makes me think, "I'm going to stop this shit from messing me up in the future and just change how I do things."

Well, this shit never changes. I don't even follow my virtue of keeping good habits that would help me become a better person all around. What if you realize you've made an error when it's too late to change anything? What was the purpose of a failure?

If a failure is made or predestined for the purpose of making someone realize their mistake and continuing as a stronger person, then why is it that I haven't made the necessary changes yet?

Does this mean that my error is not meant to be understood? fixed? compromised? ever detected?

What if I fall but never learn to get back up again?

This is a requiem of those failures that go unchecked. If you want to become stronger, then find those failures and drive them to the heart. Do what is necessary to fix those errors. If that is never done, then when it's time for you to pass, you will realize you've missed being the best man you could be; A man who has learned of all his failures and has tried his best to correct them. If you miss all days of training for your martial arts, then how can you call yourself a martial-artist? if you miss all your classes, then how can you call yourself a student? If you do not treat your mother with respect, then how can you call yourself a son, a man, or even a person? If you can't wield the sword that you own, then how can you say you own a sword?

Remember these things... Never stumble upon a rock. If you do, pick yourself up and destroy with your hands all the rocks that could make you stumble. Never let conditions drive you back. If they do, then fight back as if it's the last, as if you are fighting until your death.

Kill or be killed.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Spectating Inherent News-spazz About Korea

In my Government 312L class, I am currently learning about the different presidents and their approaches to solving problems of the United States, domestic or foreign.

This relatively new knowledge can link with this news article I saw online (cnn.com) about North Korean troops crossing the border to the no-man's land in which caused South Korean guards to fire 60 shots that made the three North Korean men run back behind the border.

My opinion in pollitics are going to be obscurely displayed here, so... make sure to remember that I have deeply-seeded conditions which derive my opinions before you make rash judgments about who I am, how I am, and why I think the way I do.

In the article, before it states everything about the situation between North Korea and US, it talks about how these visits to the no-man's land are "...not unheard of" but are "relatively rare". This has happened before, but no mass media really covered it. In fact, it was passed as irrelevant and not important. So why is it listed in the front page of cnn.com now? Because we're all waiting for a response from the American president, who hasn't really done anything but have 6-party talks about it and labeling North Korea as one of "Axis of Evil". Evil stems from evil itself and love stems from love. The reason why North Korea is in such a state is because of the countries in which have such interferences with it. Using hegemony to cause mass sanctions of globalization to North Korea, stationing 20,000 troops across DMZ (Demilitarized Zone), labeling it as one of "Axis of Evil", and doing anything to make sure South Koreans are envoys of the American power are all reasons why North Koreans are pursuing the power of a nuclear weapon.

No, I am NOT a communist.

Moving on, my complaint is that mass media here is basically 1. pushing the president to make a decision as to how to deal with North Koreans pursuing a test of their nuclear warheads, 2. Making everyone in the United States believe, regardless of the past conditions of Korea (where they had attempts to assassinate the president and had times that would cause the entire South Korea's forces to mobilize), believe that the situation between North Korea and South Korea is getting more and more aggressive, 3. linking to complaint #2, try to be an advocate of some sort of disdain between Koreans and Americans possibly causing war.

CNN had a choice NOT to report this article simply because no one was dead and shots are fired across the border all the time, which gives me a damn good reason to complain the three complains (numbered) above.

As you can see, mass media is running our minds, which decide on what to do on the future, which then has control over the future. Note that an average person with a PC and a 56K modem that logs online to read this news coverage wouldn't have any idea as to exactly what is going on.

If you understood what I had put up there and understand my anger, let me know. I really want to know if I make sense here.

I will post up another blog on a later time continuing this talk of blasphemy.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Spectating University of Texas at Austin

It's about that time I spectate this Austin, the most liberal city in the state of Texas.

1. Academics
Hard as hell. No question about it. Time management here is already so tight if you live off-campus. The most important thing about academics here at UT is concentration. The homework assignments themselves are not very hard at all, but the tests are almost unbareable compared to the homework assignments. This means that you are expected to go above and beyond the easy assignments, explore new ideas and challenge yourself with harder problems in order to receive an A or a high-B (uncertainty still exists depending on your luck). UT is truly a school that demands a student's interest in higher education.

2. Living
I'd have to say, compared to UT San Antonio, living is a bit hectic. Everyday, time passes by really fast and you're wondering where all the time went at the end of the day. You just want maybe a little time for relaxation, but no time to relax, only time to panic and start working on what's due next.

3. Social
There are several advantages of being at UT than other schools for this category here, because there is so much room to meet people. 50,000 people in this school. This means that I know less than .1 percent of the students in this school. This is a bit ridiculous, but it's also a challenge to keep up the social life without messing up your grades.

Going further into this social life here, it sometimes gets annoying to see parties and everything on weekends. You'd figure that people would grow out of these things by the time they're 20, but, I guess not. *shrug* I hate being older than the rest.

4. Leasure
Leasure here absolutely sucks. This is probably due to the fact that UT is located in Downtown, but at least show a little decency in letting people do what they want. The only decent place I can go to practice some martial arts I learned in Korea is either the parking lot of my apartment or the public golf field right in front of the apartment. Also note that you are so deeply into this social and academic life that you don't have time to just sit down and focus on yourself or anything else for that matter. All you get to focus on is having fun and work; no God, no meditation, no thinking, no relaxing, no random sleeping, etc.

5. Involvement in Society
Involvement in society here at UT is great. You can join so many associations, groups, and programs and all you have to do is go to their meetings and act remotely like you care about the things they talk about and bam, you got another thing to put into your resume. The better way to look at it is to see that these are all good opportunites that anyone could pick up.


You can definitely go to places from here. There are so many opportunities to take up but just as it is good (yes, I'm going into concept of duality) there's definitely room to mess up completely and screw up what you came to do. Keyword here is focus. Focus on what you need to get done and don't let anything get in the way. If something gets in the way, open up the arsenal and kill it. If you can't, then persevere and show everyone that you are tolerable and that you are tough.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Spectating Korea

Korea is a country that's hard for me to decipher. To describe most of the Korean people, I'd describe them as "hard-headed, close-minded, stubborn, lost in their own world of nothing, lacking the willingness to change for the better, and lack a consciousness from which they need to govern their country in the interests of their people." There are, of course, some people that I met in Korea that had influenced me to have some hope for the country in the future. Those people are the people that work diligently. Far from all the political fiasco, they dedicate themselves to ideals and philosophies and personal values. Korea is a country plagued by the sins of globalization, mockery of real politics, and the love of money. A solution in such a situation is hard to find, but the most simplest of all that everyone could try is to try and change their own lives in the face of such troubles; Do not be greedy, have your own positions in the political arena instead of siding with Americans, have dignity enough to oppose trades, and have a straight-forward view of what Korea should be.

You can probably guess that I was dissatisfied with how Korea was. I will list what I didn't like about Korea:

1. Although the confucian culture of Korea used to be big, most of the Koreans have thrown the philosophy away and changed more towards being "American". Now, instead of spending time with family that might die away, such as grandparents and other such relatives, most 20-year-olds spend their time messing around, drinking, and going to night clubs. I tried my best to do what is right in staying home and spending a lot of time with grandparents and relatives, but it's hard to take away the peer pressure, hear all the lecturing from people older than you that you've already heard before, ignore all the insulting that you get from trying to relax during your summer vacation, and, finally, ignore the fact that the old do not mix with the new. All in all, the x and y generations are fucked up, but older generations have seen so much more fucked up shit and lived in more of a fucked up world that you would hate to even converse with them about politics, problems with Korea, etc.

2. Koreans and Americans are almost one in the same. If you think about it, it's only been some 50 years since Korea has been a "fake" sovereign state. I've lived in Korea for 10 years and the best I can remember about Korea is that America was foreign as hell and most other Koreans younger than 4th grade of elementary school thought that Korea was the only country on earth. Korea now is so much more like America than ever before. English is taught from ELEMENTARY SCHOOL until college, everything is labeled in english, 30% of the famous Korean streets are marketed by American franchises such as Outback Steakhouses, Starbucks and McDonalds, and all announcements made in Korea are usually repeated in English. Throughout all this, I didn't mention the fact that the metrosexual style is the only thing that people go for nowadays, except for a few people who still stay with the hip-hop style that dominated Korea 2-4 years ago. For girls, their skirts have gotten shorter, pants have gotten tighter, and more and more of them wear dresses. Blue jeans? What are those? In a few years, the only reason you'd want to go back to Korea is to visit your friends or to fulfill your goals in life, such as getting laid, making a lot of money, establish a franchise, or to just fuck around in a foreign country even though most of those things are going to be expensive as fuck in a few years. I'd also like to mention that I saw at least one foreigner while I was conscious of the crowd I was in compared to none and probably never about 5-6 years ago.

3. Girls in Korea are the most Americanized girls in the world. Americanized can be defined by the context as, "Lost in social networks, don't care about much except flirting and sex when it comes to socializing with people, wear the most revealing clothes and always keep a night-life unless you're just a little bit chubby. If you're chubby, you study like crazy." My Sa Bum Nim in Haedonggumdo in Korea said, "girls, if they look a little bit fat, then they don't wear 2 pieces or 1 pieces on the beach. They just wear shorts or something that cover up everything." I don't know how else to describe these girls than to use the term, "Americanized" so you do the math.

4. Politics have always seemed to piss me off while I was in Korea. First of all, I'd hear problems beign announced by the News cast such as North Korea test launching some 7 missiles, President Bush being a jackass, Sanctions against North Korea established, etc. Then, I'd fail to hear what Korea will do about it. What's Korea going to do about America putting almost a global sanction against North Korea? What's South Korea going to do about the missiles being test launched? Nothing. This is a demonstration of true Korea's weakness. Put all the reasons why I was dissatisfied with Korea together and you get an inequality: Korea < or = America. Why do Koreans not have their own stand in politics and global actions? How come Koreans do not support Koreans that live right to the north of them? Why do Koreans hate other Koreans? All of these can be answered through the dissatisfaction I've listed here.

And here's what I liked about Korea:

1. Korea is advanced as fuck. Laptops are common, most of the new apartments have interated video technology, all the new cellphones usually have the ability to watch TV on the rotating screen, you get my drift.

2. Some of the traditional values still stand. My master in training was a Kwan Jang Nim and he was funny as well as demanding of good values, ambition, strength, and the ability to persevere. All these values were displayed to me when I saw what him and his disciple can do in Mu Do. I can tell you about how old people still keep some traditional values, but that's not as cool as people practicing martial arts having disciples and such.

3. Some Koreans resist foreigners. Of course, I can also be described as a foreigner, but if they treet me like shit, I'd be happy. I don't want Koreans' authentic rebelious attitude against foreigners to go away. Hell fucking no, I want everyone in the world to know that we are proud and stubborn as fuck. Even a century ago, we still had words to describe foreigners in the most demeaning way possible. Let's keep that tradition strong.

4. Dog meat is probably the best tasting meat in the whole world.

Pictures will be uploaded later, but... I hope many of you understand me rather than just be offended about what I wrote. Yes, I know I'm blunt so keep some of the obvious insults out of my way, will ya?


Monday, May 01, 2006

Spectated Xanga/Myspace Blogs.

Ridiculous what I saw in some xangas and myspaces I have just browsed through.

At least 80 percent of the girls' xangas and myspaces say, "Don't judge me, accept me, etc." Well, first of all, don't tell me what to do. I'll do whatever the hell I want and you won't be able to do a single thing about it except talk shit, which is pretty much the only thing you're good at anyways. Who the hell is stupid enough to say "don't judge me" anyways? If you think about it, everyone judges everyone else at least on the subconscious level and those who are too pussy to think that this is true, I sincerely suggest closing this window in which you're reading from because you're too pussy to read my blog. If you are pussy enough to think that people in society shouldn't judge, then you are too pussy for competition, too pussy for America, which leads to the conclusion that you are too pussy to live. Go follow procedures to kill yourself on www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com.

Secondly, I would just like to say that I never saw any men who complained about people judging them even in their blogs. This is what separates men and women in the superiority department. It's the fact that women are so insecure that they can't stand being judged. All women do is whine and push about how men are without coming up with a solution to solve the problem and bitch about how others judge them. Well, tough shit, you stupid bitches. Men get judged on a scale much greater than the one you're on. Not only do men have to fit your criterions on how we are on the superficial, we have to fit your criterion on the personality tests that you throw out to us not to mention the judgement upon how rich we are, what kind of a family background we have, etc. Don't be over there bitching about how people say you're a whore, because, in all truthfulness, chances are, that you really are a fucking whore. If you can't accept THAT, then why the fuck should I accept YOU? In all seriousness, I can't understand why I should check my tolerance level when you're just about the same in the zero tolerance category. Stupid bitches.

That's all I had to spectate today. I just couldn't handle how stupid these people were.